Like it?? Quote it!!

In our day to day life, we hear so many oscar-winning lines, that we are tempted to write it down (some even fall prey to that temptation)
I was quite eager, for quite a long time, to put forth a list of some of the unsaid and unheard quotes (long time, cause most of them are invented by me)
Well finally, I’ve managed to do so.. I am not taking credit for all of them (due credit for originality has been given. As a writer, I know, plagiarism sucks!!)
Well if you like the quotes, the funny lines, you can put it as your facebook status, bbm status, use it as a wannabe line in front of your friends or simply like this post.. (No copyrights involved)
If you don’t like the quotes, hmmm.. They say constructive criticism helps.. But I don’t fall in the “THEY”category!!

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated” – Confucius

“It’s better to cross a line and suffer the consequences than to just stare at the line for the rest of your life”

“Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever” – Lance Armstrong

“Philosophy is a route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing” – Ambrose Bierce

“To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.” -Thomas Edison

“Dubstep = A rap battle between the autobots and decepticons.”

“That 3 second lap dance you get when someone squeezes past your seat in the movie theatre.”

“No road is long with good company.” -Turkish proverb

“Fortune can take away riches, but not courage.”

“Knowledge Prefers to Speak Logically, but Wisdom Prefers to Listen Quietly and Conclude Briefly” -Leo Tolstoy

“There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way” -Gautam Buddha

“Haters don’t really hate you, they hate themselves because you’re a reflection of what they wish to be”

” The greatest conflicts are not between two people but between one person and himself.” -Garth Brooks

“If you’re going to be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.” -Marilyn Monroe

” We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.” -Aristotle

“If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space” -Nickelback

“Don’t do drugs kids. There’s a time and place for everything. It’s called college.” – Sana Solanki

“Pizza is like sex, when it is good it’s very good, when it’s bad…it’s still pretty good.”

“I once dumped a cross eyed girl. I thought she was seeing someone else.”

“Faith is Taking the First Step even when you don’t see the Whole Staircase” – Martin Luther King

“Never had any problem with the Real Intelligent people. It is with people, who think they are intelligent.”

” It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.” -Edmund Hillary

“I’m not saying she’s stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said ‘the river or the state?”

“That awkward moment when you spell a word correctly, but it looks so wrong so you stare at it forever questioning its existence.”

“We are drowning in information but starved for knowledge.”

“People will hate you, rate you, break you and shake you. How strong you stand is what makes you.” -Eminem

” A guy who truly loves his girl doesn’t need to unbutton her shirt to get a better view of her heart.”

“In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.” -Shing Xiong

“Life is just imaginary. It’s your dreams that are real.” -Carmel Ocampo

” We all have that one friend that looks Chinese but isn’t.”

“The easiest thing is to react. The 2nd easiest is to respond. But the hardest thing is to initiate.” -Seth Godin

“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.” -Oprah Winfrey

“Karma is like 69: ‘You get, what you give.'”

“Apaprnelty hmoosxeulas aer brililnat at unscarbmlnig snetneces.”

“You know you’re desperate for an answer when you look on the second page of Google.”

“I think the woman who invented the phrase ‘All Men Are The Same’ was a chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd.”

“Some people are about as useful as the P in psycho”

“That awkward moment when you don’t know which armrest is yours at the movie theater.”

“Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence .” -Eric Fromm

“A myth is the only reality, you will ever come across in your life”

Thanks for your precious time reading this.. (Though I know you have read it when you were absolutely free, with not even a mosquito to kill)
If you think you can contribute more to this blog or post, feel free to contact me (I know you won’t, but still)
And once again, if you like it, quote it!!

WordPressed by MYth’s REALity™

James Cameron: Rose, Jack couldn’t both fit on the raft

The Marquee Blog

Fifteen years later and “Titanic” fans are still angry with Rose for hogging that raft, thus allowing Jack to succumb to hypothermia.

Even the new NBC sitcom “Guy With Kids” pokes fun at the iconic scene. As one character and his wife unenthusiastically prepare for a “Titanic”-themed fundraiser, he asks, “And what happens at the end of the night? You hog a piece of driftwood that could easily accommodate the both of us?”

But “Titanic” writer/producer/director James Cameron wants to set the record straight:

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Long live america

This is an excerpt from Barack Obama’s speech delievered at National Democratic Convention

Hello virginia, howdoyoudoin?? Before I start talking, and you start clapping, would like to tell you that this speech is written by me.. The speech writer, Jon Favreau, called me to say that his grandma is ill, and he won’t be able to write those Oscar winning lines for me.. Well of course, I am not buying that story.. He could be banging Michelle in the presidential suite or the Lincoln bedroom, while I’m speaking to ya’ homies..

First of all let me begin with congratulating our fellow americans, who brought us 48 gold medals at the olympics.. I want those medals, mahn!! Bling always looks good on niggas like us!! Lil wayne, lil john, snoop dogg!! They look so cute with those gold jewelry around their neck!! I could be a better rapper than a president..

Who gives a shit about economy??

When we can easily nuke IRAN..

All ya’ dickheads, follow me,

In saying, ‘LONG LIVES UNCLE SAM’

Cool lines huh?? I still regret the day, when I chose to say “the real America please stand up” instead of saying “the real slim shady please stand up

Mitt Romney, the republican candidate, thinks its a cool job being the president.. Believe me, it ain’t dat easy, neither interesting.. Its a helluva job trying to understand the Third World English of Asif ali zardari, or understanding Manmohan singh’s silence, or telling the difference between the Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese foreign diplomats, or screwing Oprah, to get on her show (you can strike that of the records.) It ain’t that easy boy..

But I know, that he’s not gonna win the election.. Cuz he ain’t gotcha a ‘B’ in his initial’s like B. Clinton, George B, or B. Obama.. He ain’t got a super hot wife like me.. He doesn’t knows to dance.. He ain’t gotta controversial middle name like Hussein.. And most importantly, he ain’t BLACK!! I know each and everyone gathered here, are going to vote for me.. Cause you wanna avoid the you-dint-vote-for-the-black-guy-cause-you-are-a-racist confrontation.. Plus as it is evident from every speech of mine, I’ll say my favorite line.. The question.. Who will be the 45th president of America?? The answer is spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled – Americans.. So many answers poured in.. You dickheads..!! Can’t you make out that it was a rhetoric question?? It never needed an answer!! Phew.. Anyways, continuing, Americans have always sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.. Not because we are united, but because we like the acronym U.S.A!! Google says, we are the only country with an acronym!! But yeah, google’s headquarters is in Mountain View, California, USA.. So its bound to be partial..

So, pals, here comes my favorite part.. The end.. When after the curtain falls, I peacefully go and smoke some weed, and get high.. Thank you. God bless you and God bless the United States of America.

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Why do i support Manchester United??

It all started many years ago.. My brother and I were watching cartoon network (the days when pokemon were a craze.) Our mom walked in, and was quite perturbed by the fact that we spent more time with cartoons than books.. To avoid World War 3, my elder brother quickly changed the channel, and we landed on ESPN.. Che 1 – Man Utd 0, read a small bar on the top left corner.. Unfortunately, my brother understood what it meant, and figured out that the team in blue was Chelsea, and forced me to support the losing team.. Manchester United (if you have a elder brother, you will empathise with me, cause young ones don’t really have a choice)
Manchester utd lost that game 0-2, and I had to get 2 ice creams for him.. But in the hindsight, those 2 ice creams has been a huge investment for me..
It took me some months to fully understand the game (google rocks) and my team (wikipedia too!!) And I what I found about that UNITED’s history was overwhelming!! It had a perfect script for a blockbuster film (Mahesh bhatt- please read) the tragedy of Munich air crash, the team getting relegated, and then rising like a phoenix from the ashes to win the league.. History is what gets me orgasm (not literally) and I was quite happy, that the RED DEVIL’s had it..
Then came the man who changed the face of this club Sir Alex Ferguson, and made United the most succesful club in the history of english football..!!
It also helped that beckham and cristiano had played for the club (girls rarely know anyone else apart from these 2 footballers)
So my pride and loyalty magnified (wish my weight would also, some day) and now, with my heads held high, I can call myself a RED DEVIL (cool name, aint it??)
So thanks to my bully brother, my heart is at Old Trafford (and my middle finger at Anfield)
I love my club, and I shall always be proud of its rich and varied heritage (Q-‘will the government sue me for plagiarism, since I used the lines of the pledge??’
A-‘No. Its busy finding when did manmohan singh last spoke’)

Manchester united till I die!!
Glory glory man united!!

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

2nd row… 3rd bench

“Did you bring my cards?”
“Do you intend on playing cards before your presentation?”
“I am talking about those cards on which those gibberish names were written, which makes English a language of aliens to me.”
“You’re talking about your cue?”
“Bingo.”
“I forgot. You should have reminded me about it.”
”Doesn’t messaging you 5 times in a day constitute your definition of a reminder?”
“You should have called me you miser. Do you intend on building a Taj with all the money you save, while not calling your friends? Don’t blame me now. Just concentrate on the 2nd row, 3rd bench and everything’s gonna be all right.”
These words of Wasim sounded like those hollow speeches of Bush after the Iraq war. Everything’s gonna be all right. Wasim was the Bush in my life (except that he looked better and his enemy has never sported a beard).
I was jolted back to reality by the words of Vibha Mehra, our Botany H.O.D. The sentence which came out of her parted lips was the most fearful sentence of my life (leaving my girlfriends favorite line- “It’s time to talk about our relationship”).
“A wonderful presentation by Asia has come to an end. It’s now time for Sumyth to come and raise the benchmark which she has set for him. So Sumyth would you please come forward and do the honors?”
It was a rhetoric question otherwise I would have replied in a no. It took time for me to lift my weight out of the bench, as though it has been doubled (for records, even doubling my weight would be less than the average). I took a long walk from my bench (no points in guessing that it is the last bench) to the stage at the front. This walk evoked those memories, the consequence of which has outlined the start of a disastrous day. It all had started on a Wednesday.
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“So today, the Vodka plan is on?”
“The plan is on schedule without you. After 2 pegs your memory diminishes to such an extent that you are unable to tell the difference between your mother and sister” sneered Aniket.
Meet Aniket. The guy who has answers to all the girls questions and questions to all their answers. On a second thought, maybe not, considering that he is still single.
This remark from Aniket brought out muted laughs from Wasim and Sundar. Wasim is the wannabe of our class. He is sure to receive raised eyebrows and glances, whenever he walks down the corridor of our college, from girls as well as from guys. Sundar is a contradiction to his name; which means beautiful. It’s very difficult to point out him from his shadows. He is darker than the dark.
“All right guys have it your way on the highway. But remember that every dog has his day.”
“And today is surely not your day”, said Wasim.
“So class this was the end of your topic-meiosis. A very important topic. Hope it has penetrated your grey matter.” The booming voice of our H.O.D. was loud enough to obliterate any swear words that came from my mouth.
“Thank you so much madam. We have been waiting for this moment ever since the start of this damned lecture.” Aniket comically said.
“Oh, so the 4 of you decided to give my lecture a visit. I am honored by your gratitude.” She paused to grasp the effect generated by her sentence from the class. “On a serious note, why did you guys gave this topic a miss?”
“Ma’am this topic was worth a miss. We decided to concentrate on other important things at hand”, said Wasim.
“Like watching 2012” whispered Sundar.
“So if it is so simple, why doesn’t one of you guys give a presentation on this topic?”
Furtive glances were exchanged between the 4 of us. To comment on a topic was different while being a topic on which others would comment was different.
I stole a look at her. She was sitting in her usual place. 2nd row, 3rd bench. She had a i-know-you-can-do-it look. This was my opportunity to shed my back bencher look and prove that I could tell the difference between the cell of the plant from that which is inserted in gadgets.

My hand shot upwards, defying all laws of gravity in the process.
“All right Sumyth. Let’s see what you have rolled up your sleeves the next Wednesday.”
The bell rang and the class emptied leaving only the four of us. “So Mr. Champ, what was the reason behind your momentary lapse of nervous breakdown?” asked Aniket.
“I was just doing it for her”
“Who her?
“2nd row, 3rd bench.”
“She has got a cool name.”
“Shut up.”
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I reached the end of the row. Wasim never brought the cards on which all the big names of the presentation were to be written. Without it, my presentation was a waste. A house without bricks. I was worried. I looked up at the sky (not literally, ceiling in my case) and prayed that my presentation would not result in my mockery.
“Good morning Madam and all my friends. I am going to acquaint you all today with the different dimensions of meiosis and alter your picture of meiosis, since reality is just a perception. Your perception of me is that I am just a guy with no interest in studies, whereas I perceive you all as a bunch of folks with brains canalized in altogether wrong path-studies.”
A thunderous ear shattering applause erupted. Thanks to my friends at the back bench who have been promised a free treat.
But that was the only high point of the presentation, considering the turbulent turns it took during the course of time. You can fool someone all the times but everyone can be fooled only sometimes.

“Prophase can be divided into 4 stages- Pachytene, Zygotene, Diplotene, and Seventeen.”
The class broke out into a laugh. Shivangi- a girl whose feelings shall always be transformed into her talkative eyes, spoke
“Isn’t that supposed to be Leptotene?”
“As cross pollination spoils the individuality of a strain, cross questioning hampers a good presentation.” These words came out from my mouth with no intention of hearing any laughter from the class, which eventually I got to hear, but to be evasive from her question. I continued.
“The deoxyriboseneuclotide of the cell is our genetic material which gets exchanged between the daughters and sisters of the chromosome family.
Someone please remind me to check whether that is the longest word in the dictionary. And don’t be surprised when I say that word in one go. I have derived a picture to memorize it. Two ox with their ribs exposed are swimming in a tide, whilst a nuclear bomb was hurled at them.
And on and on and on my presentation went, with the intellect of the class barely raised. I took a look at her. Her eyes were shining brightly. But it had nothing to do with the illumination my intellect had dawned upon her. The afternoon sun shining brightly from the open window was the culprit.
Some men are born great while others have greatness thrust upon them in their lives. I belong to the latter category but I rued my chance of making the opportunity count.
“Well Sumyth, you can take back your seat. I see that your knowledge about meiosis is far from complete. So, Safa would you please help Sumyth in his presentation, so that we can expect an enlightening lecture rather than a stand up act.”
My heart leapt at the sound of her name. For she was the ‘her’ in this story. Some people lose even after winning, whilst others win even after losing.
I have a knack of belonging to the latter category.

“Yes” she said.
After the end of the lecture she walked towards me.
“Hey Sumyth, you need to walk a long distance before you will able to talk about meiosis.”
Ill walk across seven seas, girl.
“So let’s start from today. My place at 6 p.m. And don’t be late. I hate latecomers.”
And I love people who hate late comers.
“So will you come?”
I don’t think so that there is any need to tell you that my answer was in affirmative. I have to save some typing efforts to conjure the sequel to this one. 2nd row, 3rd bench to the last bench. An odyssey.